Courage

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I am certain you have heard the saying, “if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.” So, if you want greater success, more prosperity, be used for greater service, or a “bigger life,” you need to be willing to go beyond your current limits and stretch out of your comfort zone.

I remember uttering a prayer, something to the effect: “God, use me for your purpose, I want to be of service.” Shortly thereafter I was asked to do some volunteer teaching – I was panic stricken! I thought, I am not ready for this…then the next thought dropped in, “be careful what you ask for.”

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to move forward despite fear. The root of the word courage is from Old French corage, from cuer heart, so the word “courage” can be literally translated to mean “Rage of the Heart.” I think courage is a vital quality if one wants to live a heart-based life rather than a head-based one. Further confirmation of that fact comes from the definition of courage in the dictionary: Courage – The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery. In other words…you have to be out of your mind!

I remember feeling paralyzed and afraid to move forward when some big opportunities started presenting themselves (publishing my book, teaching classes, an offer to host my own radio show). My mind said NO WAY, my heart said LET’S PLAY! The heart will encourage you to move forward and grow while the mind will keep you playing small. The mind will tell you: better the devil you know than the angel you don’t. The mind wants to “understand” and have control, the heart wants to expand, grow and give and receive love. I have found when the desire for love overpowers the need for control is when life gets really interesting, fun and exciting!

Love takes courage (what if you get rejected?), service takes courage (what if you don’t have anything to offer?), stepping out more fully into the world takes courage (what if people laugh?). If you want to uplevel and expand in your life, you will have to go through glass ceilings and be confronted with experiences, situations, and people that will take you out of your comfort zone and into unchartered territory. But it is sort of like the Indiana Jones movie, when you take that step in faith, the bridge shows up to support you. And if you don’t have the courage and don’t take that leap of faith, you may never find out that you can fly!

Labor Day

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Labor Day is often associated with the “Last Hoorah” of the summer, an extended weekend of barbeques, weekend travels and picnics. However, the true meaning of Labor Day was established 1882 and is about celebrating laborers around the nation. I categorize labor in one of three arenas: jobs, careers or life’s purpose. A job is a means to an end, making money to pay the bills. A career is a trade that one is proud of and feeds them on a deeper lever. A life’s purpose is the clear alignment with a soul’s mission.

Undoubtedly these are challenging economic times and many have been laid off from their careers, and perhaps “downgrading” to a job they feel is beneath them. Sometimes in life we feel like we are taking one step forward and two steps back. It can be SO POWERFUL to set the intention to do ALL that we do with the attitude of love and gratitude, knowing that each experience can bring us closer the ultimate destination of our life’s purpose.

I have always enjoyed working and been told repeatedly I have a great work ethic. I have waited tables and served cocktails, for me these were jobs. I have been a hairdresser and actress…these were my careers. Now as a Holistic Life Counselor, author, artist and sacred art facilitator I am living my life’s purpose. I feel very blessed to have found my soul’s purpose, but have enjoyed and been grateful for all of my jobs and careers. Each experience was a stepping stone supporting me in arriving at my current destination. When I worked as cocktail waitress, someone said to me: “What are you doing here? You are too good for this.” My response was, “This is what I do, not who I am and I am honored to be serving you.” To work is the opportunity to be of service to others. Mother Teresa has said: “We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” And whether serving cocktails, doing someone’s hair or teaching them about the Mandala I have done it with the intention of love.

So no matter what your trade, or even if you are unemployed at this time, to live with the attitude of service, appreciation and loving, opens doors and make you a magnet for opportunity. So this Labor Day, let your attitude be of gratitude: for your work, your life and your lessons. To further energize your capacity to attract good, remember to extend this energy of gratitude to those around you who labor to bring you all of the comforts and blessings of your world. Happy Labor Day and I hope to hear from you!

Go with the Flow

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Einstein once said: “I think the most important question facing humanity is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place’. This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves. If we believe the Universe is safe, we can relax and enjoy the experience of being human, if not, struggle, resistance and pain will be inevitable. For many years I thought the world was unfair and scary. When I really contemplated Einstein’s question, I decided to be like a spiritual scientist, I opened my mind to the possibility of trusting and relaxing for a while. If things did not work out, I figured I could always go back to my old way of being. That was about 10 years ago, and I am happy to report, I never went back.

This does not mean life is always easy – it isn’t. But I do not put up as much of a fight when challenges come my way. I also do not resist my discomfort, I surrender, I allow (sometimes even consciously go into the resistance) and soon I find my out of it.

The other day as I was leaving my house, I spun out on my stiletto and found myself on the floor. As I lay there, angry at first, then curious as to why this had happened, I allowed myself to just sit there, tail bone bruised, elbow bleeding and my head throbbing. I consciously relaxed, surrendered and found my center. Because I did not judge myself or the incident, I believe I moved through the situation more quickly and with more ease. Even before I reestablished myself in an upright position, I found some things to be grateful for: “Thank God this did not happen in public!”

Choosing to trust the process of life has brought miracles and support like I could never have imagined. And just like a flowing river can have rocks and logs in it, life can still be bumpy and we can still encounter the occasional bruise. But it is such a relief to be curious, amused and know life is on our side rather than feel angry, judgmental, afraid and unsafe.

Do you feel loved and supported by life? Are you going with the flow? Comment me and share your thoughts!


Releasing Guilt

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Hello my Beautiful Friends. I am back in the serene environment of Idaho after a month in LA and two intensive healing retreats. People ask what I learned on my adventures and there was SO MUCH, but I believe the greatest value I received was the awareness, release and liberation from a significant amount of guilt I have been carrying.

I have heard it said guilt is anger turned inward. In psychoanalysis, the concept of unconscious guilt is often used to explain certain kinds of self punitive behavior. Guilt can keep us playing small, it can also prevent us from creating prosperity or manifesting love. It can be like a dam in a river or the pinch in the flow of our lives. We always attract what we believe we deserve, and if we have hidden guilt or shame in the recesses of our psyche, it will be impossible to create the life of our dreams.

In my blog last week, I address the issue of guilt. In one of the phrases of my poem “God’s Face” I say “guilt is love misunderstood.” For three years I have carried a heavy burden as a result of a friend’s choice to commit suicide. I thought my guilt was “proving” to him how much I loved him and keeping us connected – it was, but not in a positive way. When I became conscious of the hidden material in the shadows of my heart and mind, I could then look at it, listen to it, and try to understand it. For me, the guilt was like bowing down in apology – and beneath that, reverence and profound, breathtaking love.

I finally understood, my guilt was tangled up, confused love and not serving anyone – not my beautiful friend, not me, not my family, and not those I hope to serve in the future. To heal the guilt, I needed to forgive myself. I forgave myself for not being a good enough friend, for not knowing more than I knew, for making perceived mistakes, for the quality of my love not being enough and much more. As I forgave myself and released the shackles of shame, I started to feel lighter, more open and more “clean” inside. It also seemed I was making space for more love.

If you are carrying any guilt, I support you in going deeper. What needs to be forgiven? What is the misunderstanding? What do you need to release? Becoming aware of and then releasing this heavy emotion can help you to lighten up in every way. I support you in relaxing and letting go of what is no longer serving you and in turning up your wattage. The world needs our light right now and we really do deserve the life of our dreams. Tell me about your process and your thoughts. And as always abundant blessings of grace, ease, healing and profound love, Tammi

God’s Face

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Hello Friends! The clearing of the unconscious continues with unexpected experiences from crazy vivid dreams to the sudden spewing of poetry. Although I don’t consider myself a poet, I have, on occasion, turned to this form of creativity while purging pain or seeking clarity in times of confusion. This weeks blog includes my lastest musings about our journey as spiritual beings having a human experience. I would love to hear your thoughts. And as always, abundant blessings of grace, ease, prosperity and joy to you. Tammi.

God’s Face
By Tammi Baliszewski

Vampire, preditor, victim, whore,
Whoever is in me I have tried to ignore.

I am gently calling you out of the shadow of shame,
It’s time to complete the cycle of guilt, this gut wrenching game.

The parts I deemed unlovable, descended underground.
Ignored but not forgotten, deafeningly loud with no sound.

Carrying beliefs of my unworthiness, mistakes and the pain,
The heavy baggage of misunderstanding, has made me insane.

Mortified and wounded it’s time to look in my eyes,
Willing to fall to my knees, surrender, let go of these lies

I have donned the false mask of courage defiled,
As I look in the mirror, I see the innocence of the child,

I have orphaned myself, seeking the approval of others,
It’s time to love unconditionally, be my own good father and mother.

The deepest part of me knows I am no horrible thing,
Not the monster I have hidden, nor the angst, or the pain.

Surrendering to God, finally too exhausted to hide,
Falling on my sword, my heart is pierced open wide.

The ego, the shadow, the fall from grace,
The Divine design to obscure God’s face

Not evil or bad, just the opportunity to decide,
I now turn towards Spirit, His arms open wide.

We have to forget so we can remember, a game of hide and seek,
This human adventure is not for the faint of heart or the weak.

Relaxing, releasing, falling into faith,
I melt into love, forgiveness and grace.

I think I understand, guilt is love misunderstood.
No more judging myself, no more “should nots” or “shoulds”

I am shedding this dark cloak I have worn for so long,
Emerging from the shadows, vulnerable yet strong.

The pain of separation and feeling alone,
Is healed in this moment, I am finally home.

I understand it takes courage to see the face of the Divine-
Because first I must be willing to see the perfection of mine.

The Unconscious Mind

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I just completed an intensive weekend workshop at the University of Santa Monica. It was a powerful weekend devoted to understanding accessing and healing our unconscious mind.

We all have a conscious, subconscious and Superconscious mind. Our conscious mind is the rational thinking part of ourselves and the one charge in our normal waking state. It is the place where free will and choice reside. The Superconscious mind is our Soul Self. Napoleon Hill called it the Infinite Intelligence. Scientists call it the Universal Mind. It is where we are one with our Creator.

The unconscious mind is the buffer in between the conscious and Superconscious mind. It is the place our dreams come from and the place we access when we are hynotized. In the negative, the unconscious mind can be the store house for deep seated guilt, shame, unworthiness and cause us great anguish. In the positive it is the place of profound inspired creativity. The more we release our guilt and shame the more access we have to our infinite creativity.

One very powerful and effective way of clearing out “negative” material in our unconscious mind is through prayer and meditation. Another non-directed way to experience healing is to go into a light meditative state, and flood the unconscious with violet light. Working consciously with our subconscious mind can support us in creating powerful and positive changes in our lives.

As a “Spiritual Scientist” I have committed to doing my “Purple Light Meditation” daily and look forward to witnessing the results in my life – I will keep you posted. If you decide to participate in the experiment, be sure to let me know the results in your life as well!

Happy Lughnasadh!

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On Saturday somebody said to me “Happy Lughnasadh” ….my response was “Huh?” I did a little research and found that Lughnasadh is an Irish holiday that marks the beginning of the harvest season and the ripening of first fruits.

This holiday represents that is our work is complete and we have done everything we can – even if the fruits of our labor are not yet evident. It is the time to come together with friends and family in celebration and laughter. If you are anything like me, we right on track! When I have prayed and asked God “What do I do?” I get the intuitive impression that Spirit is responding with “Relax.” Relax? But what do I DO? Relax! I understand now, I have done all I can do for now, it is time to relax and celebrate.

I love Abraham Hicks and I have often heard them say, “Celebrate NOW! Success is immanent!” When we relax and feel good, we are a magnet for good things. Yes, we have to take our action steps, and we have to plant our seeds, but once that part of the process is complete, it is time relax, feel good, be happy and know that great things are on their way.

Have you been taking responsibility for yourself? Have you planted your seeds? Are you relaxing in faith? If so, HAPPY LUGHNASADH TO YOU! Relax, celebrate, be happy – and write to me about your journey, I would love to hear from you!

Self Love

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A very interesting week at the Art 4 healing program! I put glitter paint on some of my abstract paintings…much to the chagrin of the teacher. As she was clearly (and loudly) expressing her displeasure about the bling…I felt my heart beating REALLY HARD in my chest, I was confused, wasn’t this course about personal self expression? Should I apologize? Defend myself? Explain myself? Crawl away and hide myself? Instead, I chose not to take it personally, to love my glitter – and to love me.

In the four agreements Author Don Miguel Ruiz tells us not to take anything personally. “Nothing others do is because of you, what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinion and actions of others you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

As a recovered People Pleaser, this was something really new for me. In the past I would have withered up and died. But this time I did not let the opinion of another (an authority figure no less!) pull me out of my own self approval and self love. I think our biggest hurt and heartache comes from withdrawing our approval from ourselves. If we can learn to love ourselves no matter what, life is so much less painful and so much more fun!

I learned a lot of new techniques and obtained some great healing tools this week (and created some cool glittery paintings!) but the most important thing I learned is that I have come a loooong way on the journey to Self love! I am happy to report I really do like and approve of me….even if others do not! Write to me with your wins about Self-love, it would be great to hear from you!


Try a Little Kindness

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Have you ever had the experience where life just flowed along effortlessly, when you felt supported and blessed? Alternatively have you ever felt really stuck, when nothing you do seems to work? I used to get very upset and confused when those “stuck times” occurred. I now look at it differently, I take it as information from the Universe that it is time to relax, go inward and take care of myself.

People often mention how blessed I seem to be and I would agree. However, it wasn’t always this way. When I was mean to myself, life was unkind. Now that I constantly check in with myself and ask the questions “what honors me now?” or “how can I be gentle with myself? “ Life has seemingly transformed in miraculous ways.

Last week I felt a bit stuck. I kept making calls and trying to make things happen, then, I remembered I was preparing to go into an intensive healing art program – the light went on! It was time to go into my cocoon and be quiet and kind to myself. I shifted gears and relaxed. Buddha has said: “There is no out there,” everything that happens is a reflection of our relationship with ourselves. So, if you want life to be nicer to you, start being nicer to yourself. Be kind, gentle and honor yourself, then wait for the miracles to happen!


Centering

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My husband decided we needed to go on a family vacation this year, so we made plans to take our yacht to Catalina Island. The boys (ages 17 and 11) were very excited. We have a new jet ski, snorkel, fins and various other water toys. It sounds like a fun- filled vacation don’t you think? What we did not anticipate was the rocking and rolling of the sea! Once we arrived at Avalon Bay and got ourselves moored, the rocking really ensued. It wasn’t long before the family was various shades of green.

I descended below deck and as the boat weaved and bobbed, I felt disoriented and nauseas. I realized this could be a pretty painful week. Carl Jung once said “what we resist persists.” I knew it was futile to resist the ocean, so I consciously decided to find center, make peace with situation and make friends with the waves. Life improved immediately.

To center myself, I sink into the area of my solar plexus (right below the belly button) and become aware of the flow of my internal energy. When I sink into my center, I feel very peaceful, present, calm and connected. My husband and his kids needed Dramamine and lots of shore time, while I felt the sea was embracing me, loving me and rocking me to sleep. Once again my “journey to center” and the power of intention vastly improved my vacation – and my life! If you have stories about centering or the power of intention, please share them with me! Also please check out my website at www.journeytocenter.com.